You're Holding Too Much: How Delegation and Boundaries Create Space to Grow

This is an adapted transcript from the Love To Lead Podcast. Listen to the full episode You’re The Default In Your Business — You're Holding Too Much: How Delegation and Boundaries Create Space to Grow

I want to start today with something that I think you've probably felt but maybe haven't had the words for yet.

You've been working. Like, really working. You're up early, you're answering messages, you're making decisions, you're solving problems, you're showing up. And yet at the end of the day, you sit down and think… what did I actually get done today?

And if you're anything like most of the women I work with, your first instinct is to blame yourself. Like, maybe I need to be more disciplined. Maybe I need a better system. Maybe I'm just not built for this.

I want to offer you something different today.

You are not behind. You are not bad at time management. You are holding too much.

And there is a difference.

The Invisible Load

Here's what nobody really talks about when it comes to women in business.

There are two things happening at the same time, every single day. There's the visible work. The stuff on your to-do list. The things you can point to and say, I did that. And then there's the invisible work. The remembering. The coordinating. The anticipating. The catching things before they fall apart. The being the person everyone comes to.

That invisible work doesn't show up anywhere. It doesn't get checked off a list. But it costs you something every single day.

And the thing is, this isn't just a business problem. This is something women carry across every area of their lives. We become the default. The person who holds the details, tracks the timelines, notices what's missing, fills the gaps. And we do it so naturally, so automatically, that we don't even realize how much of our capacity it's consuming.

Part of this is genuinely a growth opportunity for you. How can I be better about asking for help, or delegating, or outsourcing, or communicating my needs? But part of it? That's a weight the world put on you. And we don't always stop to separate those two things. We just pick it all up and keep going.

Let me sit with that for a second.

Because I think we've been really quick to take full ownership of the problem. Like, I just need to figure this out. I just need to get better. And what I want you to hear is that some of this was handed to you. Some of this was never yours to carry in the first place. And you've been carrying it anyway because that's what you do.

That's not a discipline problem. That's not a focus problem. That's a responsibility problem. And those require very different solutions.

What This Actually Looks Like In Your Business

So what does this look like on the ground? In your actual business, on your actual Tuesday afternoon?

It looks like working all day and feeling like you have nothing to show for it.

It looks like everything having to go through you. Every question, every decision, every approval. Not because you're a control freak, but because somewhere along the way, you became the one who knew how everything worked. And now you can't figure out how to hand any of it off without it all falling apart.

It looks like being the person who thinks about your business even when you're not working. While you're cooking dinner. While you're trying to fall asleep. While you're trying to be present with the people you love.

And here's what that creates over time. It creates a ceiling. Not because you're not talented or smart or capable. But because your bandwidth is finite. Your energy is finite. And when you're holding everything, there is no room to grow. There is no room to think bigger. There is no room to step into what you're actually building this for.

We work all day and feel like we have nothing to show for it. And that feeling is not a sign that you're failing. It's a sign that the way your business is currently set up is asking too much of one person.

This Is Not A Character Flaw

I want to be really clear about something.

This is not a personal failure.

The fact that you've become the default for everything in your business is not evidence that you're doing it wrong. It's evidence that you built something. That people trust you. That you care deeply about what you put out into the world. Those are not bad things.

But we don't have to build on that forever. We don't have to keep accepting the weight of it as just the cost of doing business.

We get to choose how we spend our time. We get to decide what actually needs to go through us and what doesn't. We get to redesign this. Not just once, not because we hit a breaking point, but as an ongoing, active, intentional choice.

Because here is what I know to be true: we don't have to be the one to hold everything.

That’s what has to be true for each of us if we are ready to fully step into being a leader and full owner vs the default for everything and the main operator.

That might feel far away right now. It might even feel a little scary to believe that. But I want to plant that seed today.

You are not behind. You are carrying more than you should be. And there is a way through.

If this is hitting, I want you in this free workshop I'm hosting called Find 10 Hours. It's a live training where I walk you step by step through identifying exactly what's on your plate, where your time is actually going, and the first things you can start to hand off. We do the work together, in real time. Link is in the show notes — go grab your spot.

Here's what I want you to take away from today.

The feeling you have, of working hard and still feeling behind, of never quite catching up, of wondering why this is so hard for you when it seems like everyone else has it together, that feeling is not the truth about who you are.

It is information. It is your business telling you something needs to change.

And the first step to changing it is recognizing that this is not a discipline issue, and it's not a you issue. It's a load issue. And we can do something about the load.

Your challenge today is to sit with this. To journal or just sit in a quiet space (even if it’s at your desk for 15 mins) and think about how this might be true for you. Awareness is the first step in breaking that ceiling of growth as a business and as a leader.

I'll see you in the next one.

Ready to start finding time you didn't know you had? Register for the Find 10 Hours workshop. It's free, it's live, and you will leave with a clear picture of exactly where your time is going and what you can do about it. I'll see you there.