This is an adapted transcript from the Love To Lead Podcast. Listen to the full episode Why Business Advice Keeps Burning Out Women Business Owners

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I want to take you into a conversation I had recently — the kind that sticks with you.

I was sitting over coffee with a woman who works in corporate operations. Smart. Strategic. Knows how to execute. The kind of woman who gets things done. And in the middle of our conversation, we said something out loud that I think a lot of women feel but rarely name:

Men’s business books are tactical.
Women’s business books are dreamy and inspirational.

And somehow… neither one actually works for us.

The Two Business Extremes Women Are Trapped Between

Here’s what I’ve noticed.

When women follow tactical business books to a T — the ones built on systems, productivity, and execution — they do solve problems. Processes get cleaner. Tasks get done. But those books don’t solve the internal conflict women carry.

They don’t touch the guilt.
They don’t touch the pressure.
They don’t touch the invisible weight we’re holding while running businesses, households, relationships, and emotional labor all at once.

On the flip side, we have the inspirational side of business content.

The “follow your dreams.”
The “manifest it.”
The “you can have it all.”

It sounds beautiful. Hope-filled. Encouraging. But here’s the thing no one wants to say out loud:

Having it all isn’t the goal.

We don’t want that. We were never created to carry everything. And that pressure — the expectation to want it all, to handle it all, to be capable of it all — is exactly what’s burning women out in business.

So we end up stuck between two extremes:

• “You’ve got this. Just believe harder. Manifest it.”
• “Work harder. Grind. Sacrifice. Push through.”

And neither of those models were built for women.

Not for the woman balancing business and home.
Not for the woman carrying the emotional and mental load.
Not for the woman who is capable — but tired.

The Lie Women Have Been Taught About Leadership

Somewhere along the way, we were taught a few things that run deep:

• That the speed at which we produce determines our value
• That if we can’t do it all, something must be wrong with us
• That strong leadership means holding everything together

And when we struggle, we don’t question the system. We question ourselves. But here’s the truth I want you to hear clearly:

You’re not broken. The system is.

No checklist, SOP, or productivity hack can solve burnout when the foundation itself wasn’t built with women in mind. That’s why so many women feel like they’re doing everything “right” — and still feel exhausted, stuck, or secretly resentful of the businesses they built.

A Different Way to Lead: The Pause

This is where I want to introduce something that changes everything.

The pause.

And no — I don’t mean the pause where you finally get a quiet lunch and scroll your phone or watch Netflix for ten minutes. (I love that for us.) I’m talking about a different kind of pause.

The pause in the moment of pressure.

The moment when:

• You don’t know what decision to make
• Everything feels heavy
• Your team brings something back wrong
• You feel stuck, frustrated, guilty, or ashamed

That moment right there? That’s where the pause has the highest ROI. And it’s also the moment women resist it the most.

Why?

Because we’ve been taught that the faster we produce a solution, the more valuable we are.

So instead of pausing, we push.
We react.
We overdo.
We take the task back.
We fix it ourselves.
We decide quickly so we don’t look incompetent.
We move so we can feel worthy.

But here’s the truth:

Doing more isn’t leadership.
Doing less with intention is leadership.

What the Pause Actually Does for Women in Leadership

The pause interrupts the lie that says:

“If I don’t fix this right now, I’m failing.”

Instead, it gives us space to ask better questions:

• What am I believing about myself in this moment?
• What weight am I holding that isn’t mine?
• What is the next right step — not the fastest one, not the most productive-looking one — but the one that honors me, my energy, my role, and my business?

And when you operate from burnout, everything you touch breaks a little. Because your energy is your most valuable business asset

Here’s what the pause creates when women actually use it:

The Pause Creates Clarity

Your decisions get cleaner. You stop reacting from fear or urgency and start acting from discernment.

The Pause Makes Delegation Work

You stop snatching tasks back. You communicate clearly. You lead without guilt.

The Pause Reduces Mental Overload

Your nervous system settles. Your brain can think again. You stop carrying what isn’t yours.

The Pause Builds Leadership Identity

You stop feeling like a “bad leader.” You hear yourself again. You trust yourself again.
And your team feels it. Your clients feel it. Your business reflects it.

This Is the Work Women Aren’t Being Taught

This is the deeper work missing from tactical business books. This is the bridge between burnout and ownership.

Not ownership that demands more from you — but ownership that frees you. Because you were never meant to carry it all. And your business should give you life back — not take it.

If this resonates, I unpack all of this more deeply in this week’s podcast episode. And if you feel that quiet “something has to change” nudge while listening, that matters.

You don’t need to push.
You don’t need to rush.
You don’t need to do more.

You just need a different way forward.

And I have confidence in you.

This is an adapted transcript from the Love To Lead Podcast. Listen to the full episode Why Business Advice Keeps Burning Out Women Business Owners